A Pointless Mission
by n00b-masta2112
Summary: Dosu, Kin, and Zaku meet on their first mission. But what kind of mission is this? Dun dun dun! [ONESHOT] I don't own Naruto. Even if you don't like Sound nin, please read! It's funny...


A Pointless Mission

**This is a totally random fic. I hope it's not terrible. At first, it was just a normal story, but after I wrote "Who's hungry?" I decided I wanted a humorous fic! And humorous it is! Enjoy!**

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**A Pointless Mission**

Kin stared out the window of the tiny room she was to share with her teammates for a week.

_If this doesn't drive me insane, it'll be a miracle_, she thought to herself.

The Sound kunoichi was lost in thought when the door burst open.

"Am I late?!" shouted the boy who had entered.

"Early," said Kin.

The boy let out a breath of relief. "Good." He then looked at the girl sitting near the window. "You're my teammate? But you're a girl!"

Kin was infuriated by this comment. This kid obviously didn't think before he spoke. Ever. Kin decided to let it go this time and turned back to the window.

"Since your going to be stuck with me," said the boy as he plopped down beside her. "you should know, I'm Zaku."

"Kin."

The quiet lasted for about ten seconds. Zaku couldn't keep quiet for any longer.

"Have you ever cut your hair?"

"No."

"How come? Doesn't it get in the way?"

"Shut up. You talk too much."

Zaku got up and walked across the room to sit. After a short wait, the door opened again. A boy with a completely bandaged face except for one eye and one ear came in.

"Dosu," he said.

"Kin."

"Zaku."

They just stared at each other for a while, then Dosu said, "Don't you find it odd that they didn't introduce us to our teammates until our first mission?"

Kin nodded. "Shouldn't we have had some training together first?"

"Why do you wear bandages?"

"Zaku! Shut up! Enough with the stupid questions," Kin found that she was easily annoyed with Zaku.

Zaku glared at her and walked to the mat in the far corner of the room. "This one's mine."

"I'll take the one by the door," offered Dosu.

"Guess that means the window bed is mine," Kin said. She was glad she got the mat nearest the window.

They all sat in awkward silence for a long time until Kin said, "What no?"

"I was informed that a messenger from Sound would arrive with our instructions in the morning so…" Dosu seemed to be out of ideas.

"Who's hungry?" Zaku piped up.

Kin sighed. "That's the first time I've heard you say something smart," she said as she stood.

Zaku scowled at her and followed her out the door, right in front of Dosu. They walked out of the inn and down the street.

"Does anybody know where they sell food?!" Zaku asked no one in particular.

Kin pointed to a fancy restaurant. "How about that one?"

"Ew," said Zaku.

"We don't have enough money, Kin," Dosu reasoned.

Kin nodded. "I guess not."

"That one," Zaku pointed at a neon sign on a building. "The sign says 'FOOD' on it. It's perfect!"

"Dude, that says 'SAKE, FOOD, SAKE' on it," Kin said flatly.

"Still, they have food," Zaku argued.

Kin turned to Dosu.

"Looks cheap," he said.

"Okay," Kin replied. "Let's go."

The trio headed for the bar. Dosu took the lead and pushed the door open. A smoky, dark, crowded room was on the other side. Dosu and Kin stopped in their tracks and Zaku crashed into them.

"Hey! Come on, let's go! I'm starving!"

They entered and pushed their way to the bar and ordered some food. Dosu, Kin, and Zaku took some seats at the end of the bar. The waitress brought their orders and glasses of "water."

"Thanks," said Zaku. The waitress giggled and scurried away. "What's her problem?" HE took a big gulp of his drink and a large bite of food.

Kin ate smaller bites, and took smaller sips, while Dosu just looked at the food.

"Hey Dosu! How are you going to eat with all those bandages on your face?" Zaku asked loudly.

"Hey Zaku! How are you going to eat with that chick on your face?" Kin yelled.

"What chick?" Zaku looked around him. While his face was turned, Kin planted a peck on his cheek. He quickly turned his head and stared at her, a faint blush on his face. "What was that?"

Kin giggled in a very un-Kin-ish way. "A kiss, silly!"

As Kin tried to steal another smooch from Zaku, Dosu picked up her glass and inspected it. He groaned, "Oh no, sake."

"Dance with me, Dosu!" Kin shouted in his face.

"No, that's okay."

Kin pouted. Dosu caught sight of Zaku chugging the rest of his "water."

"Uh-oh," he said out loud. With both of his teammates wasted, how was he supposed to keep them under control?

"Kin! I'll dance with you!" Zaku screamed.

"Let's go!" Kin pulled him onto the dance floor as a new song started.

_Tryin' to get to you_

_And that booty_

_Tryin' to get to you_

_And that booty_

Zaku and Kin began dancing like the other couples in the club. Dosu slapped a hand to his face.

_Girl, I been shakin', and snakin', and movin'_

_Tryin' to get to you_

_And that monkey_

_Yeah, you and that monkey_

The song finally ended and Dosu glared at the empty sake cups on the table as Zaku and Kin returned to their seats.

"Dosu, you have to dance with me during the next good song," said Kin.

"I can't," said Dosu, "because we have to leave now." He yanked them out of the club and back to the inn. Kin and Zaku were both giggling uncontrollably the whole while.

Back in the room, Dosu began to worry that having drunken Kin and drunken Zaku sleep in the same room wasn't such a good idea.

He was relieved when Zaku stumbled to his bed and crashed right away.

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The next morning, a messenger knocked on the door and Dosu answered.

"What's the first task for our mission?" he asked.

"Take a bath. All of you. You stink," the messenger said.

"What?"

"That's a mission?"

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Zaku stripped quickly and jumped into the hot springs with a _splash!_ Dosu was hesitant to unwrap his bandages, but eventually did.

On the women's side of the bath house, Kin relaxed in the comforting warm water. There was nobody at the bath house except for her and her teammates.

On the men's side, they were also lounging quietly, until Zaku said, "Wanna peek on Kin?"

Dosu nearly choked on his own spit. "WHAT!?!?!"

"Shh…we don't want her to hear our plan," Zaku spoke in a hushed tone.

"Zaku, we can't spy on her…she's bathing!"

"So what? That's the best time to spy on a girl."

"And you know this from experience?" questioned Dosu.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Dosu rolled his eyes. "Are you still drunk from last night?"

"No!" Zaku said defensively. He then lowered his voice, "This is what we're going to do. You give me a boost so I can see over the bamboo, I'll watch for a little while, and then we'll switch so you can see."

"I don't want to see!"

"Oh, but you do," Zaku tried to convince him.

"No way, I am not going to peek on Kin while she's…"

"Naked?" asked Zaku bluntly.

"Shh! Not so loud!"

"Fine, you don't have to look, just give me a boost," Zaku said as he got out of the water and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"This is so disgusting," mumbled Dosu as he did the same. "Zaku, you're a sick pervert with a twisted mind."

They approached the bamboo divider and Dosu crouched down. Zaku jumped up and stood on his shoulders. He peeked up over the edge of the wall cautiously.

"Well?...What do you see?"

Zaku scratched his head in confusion. "Nothing. There's no one over there."

A clearing of a throat could be heard from behind them.

"What are you two doing?! Were you trying to peek on me?!" Kin shouted.

Dosu darted out from underneath Zaku, and Zaku tumbled to the floor.

"No! You can't see me without my bandages!" Dosu screeched as he snatched up his wrappings and hid behind a towel rack.

Zaku stood up and faced Kin.

"Uh…we were-" Zaku stopped and gave Kin a suspicious look.

"What?" she snapped.

"What are you doing in the men's side of the bath house?"

Kin turned bright red. "I uh…um…I was just…you see…I-"

"You were going to peek on us weren't you?" he demanded.

"No! I…um…I-"

"Yes you were!"

"No I wasn't!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

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The trio sat awkwardly once again in their room. They were waiting for the messenger to come.

He opened the door and walked in.

"Hey you! You've got some explaining to do!" Kin yelled.

"Yeah!" Zaku chimed in. "What was the point of this 'mission'?"

The messenger smirked. "To get to know your teammates better."

Dosu muttered under his breath, "You have no idea."

THE END

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**Yeah...review!**


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